Self discovery

I have decided to start to write down (or type) some of what goes through my head on a regular basis. There are days that what comes out is clear and concise and other days that it is just rambling nonsense. The days that it is clear are my low pain days. The others are my not so low pain days.

I have arthritis in one hip and the beginnings of arthritis in my hands. I also have endometriosis that flares once in a while. There are days I feel like I am falling apart and useless to those around me. I push myself harder on those days and regret it later. I wear a mask in front of my coworkers and even some of my friends. Only those closest to me ever see the hurt escape, whether by an emotional or physical break down. The emotional ones are rare. During the physical ones I won't even let my husband touch me.