Falling fast

I am finding myself feeling things that I have only felt for two others as deeply as I am now. I still feel them for those first two, I actually feel deeper for them. I always will. But I am finding myself loving and caring for someone else just as much as I do them. I have been trying so hard to keep my heart in check. Telling it that it isn't allowed to fall, to need this person so desperately. But I do. I am finding that I want to make him a part of my family. Why does my heart love so much? And oddly enough my head isn't telling my heart to hush. My head is telling me to tell him, to let him know how I truly feel. That I want him around for a very long time. I want to give him parts of me I have only shared with one other, and some that have only been shared with two others.

But, I don't want to scare him off, or have him think me crazy. There is just something about him, about how he treats me, about how he treats my family. He has brought out parts of me that I had thought long buried. My inner demon and angel have come out to play again, crying for their stories to be told. And that they want his story to intertwine with theirs, just like D's has. D first brought forth Aphrexia from my mind, and Aerin followed, but she stays in the shadows. D isn't quite the force that she wants, but J, J seems to pull her to the surface without even trying. I don't think he knows that. Now I am sounding crazy, but Aerin and Aphrexia are two of my inner voices. Aphrexia keeps me on the straight and narrow, while Aering coerces me to slow down and wander from the path, To see what there is to explore.

I love deeply, and in the end I always get hurt, but to me that love is worth every ounce of pain.

I love D, J, and B all equally. They are all my centers. They each give me something different. I know that they all love me in their own way, and maybe not as fiercely as I love them. But, I have come to accept that. I will keep loving them no matter.