I'm one of those people that tends to spoil others with gifts and flowers and other silly nonsense. But, never seem to get them. I tell people it doesn't bother me, but that is a lie. At times it makes me feel like I am unimportant. I just have to remember that their love language may just not be what mine is. Mine is gifts and touch.
Is it wrong that I just want some flowers or a stuffed animal once in a while? The last stuffed animal that was bought for me was my Junior year of HS. Well, that is wrong, while it wasn't bought I did have one given to me by B. I sleep with that lovely caterpillar every night. It keeps the night terrors at bay. There is something about it that makes me feel safe. I don't know why.
So, with all the damn flowers and stuffed animals everywhere at work it makes me cranky. It reminds me of all the shitty Valentine's I have had over the years. The gas station cards, and the beautiful box with divorce papers. The 10 years of telling everyone not to bother with anything for me. All the years of lieing to myself about not caring.
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