The forms love takes

Over the past few months I have been on a journey. A journey of the heart. For years I loved just one man and held all my love for him. But I knew I was capable of more. Of loving greater and deeper. Of loving more. And I am.

As I have embarked on this journey, the love I have for D has grown by leaps and bounds. I know that he will always be there for me, that no matter what, he will be there to help me put the pieces of my heart back together. To show me that his love for me is unconditional and all encompassing. He is a most amazing man. And because of this amazing man I have been able to explore more of who I am without fear of being judged.

He has been with me through all of the hard times and in all of the joyous times. He is my foundation. He is my main partner in "crime". He has even begun to explore parts of himself that he would have never thought to explore. He is stepping out on that proverbial ledge, a bit leary but willing to try. He encourages me to be myself and to stop hiding who I am. To speak my mind and share my deepest desires.

I managed to floor him about a week ago. I told him that I was in love with someone else. Now, before you go "What!", know that I have never been more in love with D, than I am at this moment and my love for him grows deeper every day. It just means that I am in love with this other person too. He said he always knew I would find a girl that I fell in love with. What shocked him was it was the girl he loves. B is an awesome woman. I can see why D loves her. There is just something about her. I love the way D smiles when he is thinking about her. It is just a bit different of a smile than when he is thinking about me, when he is thinking about me it is a bit of a dirty smirky smile. With her it is just a bit less dirty, still smirky.

I told B later that evening how I felt about her. I don't know if she feels the same way, I do know she loves me. I can accept it if all we ever have is a friendship love. I do not ever want her to think she has to love me. I love without strings. I am letting her process what I said. I am going to fade to the shadows for a bit so that she can. I will be here when she is ready to tell me what she thinks.